BEFORE THEIR TIME
Lessons In Living From Those Born Too Soon
InterVarsity Press, 2000.
(ISBN 978-0830822652)
Daniel Taylor: “I co-authored this book with my great friend Dr. Ron Hoekstra to tell the stories of some of the greatly premature babies for which he cares. Entering the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) is like entering a parallel universe, one that orbits around the smallest of human beings. Being involved for a year or so with these doctors and nurses and infants–and speaking at length with the parents–challenged my mind, my values, and my heart.”
Publisher’s Description: “Lord, have mercy.” This was Alliette’s simple but profound plea as she drove herself to the hospital
“In these pages you will find six stories of babies born before their time, fifteen to eighteen weeks short of the nine months allotted to form a child. You will enter the neonatal intensive care unit, a quietly crowded place of babies, doctors, nurses, parents and machines. A place of drama, heartache, waiting and joy. And a place where God is found.
“The questions raised by the stories of these smallest of infants are as large as life itself. What makes life worth living? What is the balance of medicine and faith?
“This book is not a collection of case studies but the stories of women, men and tiny children with whom we explore the meaning of life, death and faith. Here is a book to encourage and inspire, a book about both the struggle and joy of life.”
Click to read an EXCERPT
INTRODUCTION
To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die.
Ecclesiastes
There is a time for everything. Birds point south in the fall, branches and taxes bud in the spring, extended families head home for Thanksgiving, and laughter and tears are welcomed at weddings.
Too soon or too late is trouble. Things which miss their appointed hour are at risk. And they place us at risk. They are out of season, unexpected and therefore unprepared for. They catch us as we are, not as we wish to be. They show us things we do not want to see.
Consider those born too soon–before their time. Forty weeks is the proper time for forming a baby. Thirty-eight or forty-one will do just fine. But not thirty, not twenty-seven, and, there can be no doubt, not twenty-two.
Here are the stories of six children born too soon. Four were born after only twenty-two weeks of pregnancy, a little more than half the time allotted to form a child in the womb, and a set of twins were born at twenty-five weeks. This is not enough time to complete the infinitely complex task of weaving a child together.
Too soon causes problems—life-threatening problems. It also creates opportunities—opportunities for courage, friendship, faith, and love.
These stories changed every person in them; they may change you as well. For these are not simply the stories of someone else’s kids, of interest to those around them, but not to the rest of us. These stories raise many of the fundamental questions of life, including some for which our society is desperately searching for answers: What makes a life worth living? When should we begin to treat a life as precious, and how much should we do to preserve it? How much should a society spend to rescue the most fragile? How disabled is too disabled to be encouraged to live? What is the balance between medicine and faith? What role do prayer and miracles have in the modern, technological world?
These questions are not answered with detailed arguments or statistics or surveys. They are answered, to the extent that they are answered at all, by the stories themselves. Not everyone will take away the same answers or find the same lessons. That’s how it is with stories. But our hope is that everyone who reads this book will never again try to answer the questions without thinking of Lamarre, and Simon, and B.J., and Blake, and Anna and Liam.
Some of these questions are ancient, but others are new, or are now asked with new urgency. Technology–and ethical pluralism–give us more choices than we are comfortable with. A century ago, those who came before their time simply died. It was sad, but it required no choosing. Today we can keep alive those we shouldn’t. And we can refuse to save those we should. Is there even any such thing as someone who shouldn’t be alive? Especially someone at the beginning of life?
Some think there is. The arguments against saving the extremely premature are serious. It is very expensive to preserve the life of a 22-24 week old infant. A typical three-month stay in the hospital might cost $400,000. Some think the money should be spent elsewhere.
Others emphasize the cost to the child. When the roll call of problems grows longer and longer, and the benefit of treatment seems less and less, difficult questions arise. How much is too much? When are we doing things to the baby instead of for the baby? When are we simply postponing the inevitable?
The last question presupposes that one knows what will inevitably happen. Anyone who has worked with preemies knows that isn’t the case. Some cases look hopeless and turn out well; some look hopeful and turn out tragically.
Yet even those who survive have a much higher probability of a broad spectrum of problems that could be with them all their lives: brain damage, chronic lung disease, vision problems, impaired motor and cognitive skills, all of which can lead to significant developmental delays. We often argue for and against positions, today, based on our perception of how much someone else will supposedly suffer, even when no actual pain is involved. We even justify the death of the person as for his or her own good to relieve or avoid suffering. So it is not surprising that we agonize over who and how to treat when life seemingly begins too early.
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REVIEWS
“In the high-tech intensive care nursery of a major American hospital, we meet six premature babies, their devoted parents and a praying doctor. Their miraculous stories told in Before Their Time remind us that the most important formula we can feed our children is faith.” Diane M. Komp, M.D., author of Images of Grace: A Pediatrician’s Trilogy of Faith, Hope & Love
“Daniel Taylor is one of the finest writers of our age. . . . The stories read like mysteries of grace which rivet us to the seasons of our own lives that feel premature and incomplete. What I learned not only brought me to tears of joy but to a deeper passion for the glorious timing of God’s plan in my life.” Dan B. Allender, coauthor of The Cry of the Soul
“Taylor and Hoekstra, a physician at Children’s Hospital in Minneapolis, tell the stories of six infants born after only some 22 weeks’ gestation, their parents, and the staff, primarily the nurses, of the neonatal intensive-care unit that treated them. Faith played a major role in dealing with the many crises of the infants’ lives as well as in their parents’ views of their children, their families, and their religions.
“Although one infant died and at least two were left with physical or mental damage, miracles happened in all of the babies’ stories, and the adults involved, lay and medical, learned much about themselves and their diverse roles in life.
“Taylor and Hoekstra’s moving account of experiences that remain indelible for all those involved in them isn’t for those skeptical of the comfort, support, and hope that firm religious belief can provide. Yet even skeptics should consider their provocative query, “When are we doing things to the baby instead of for the baby?” Booklist
READER RESPONSES
“This book is an incredible look at the lives of babies born at the extreme edge of viability, their families, medical teams, and support networks. Our family has lived through most of the same things as the featured families since our daughter was born 10 months ago–17 weeks early at 23 weeks gestation, weighing only 18 ounces.
“I read this book in one day and found myself reliving the past year, through many sad and joyful tears. The authors do a wonderful job of expressing, in ways I never could, the intense emotional journey involved in caring for an extremely premature child. Better yet, the lessons we can learn about life, love, and faith, through these six babies’ stories are beautifully explained. The book is already helping repair my heart from the past year’s trauma.
“I highly recommend this book for any premature baby’s parent, caregiver, or medical staff as a way to clarify your feelings. I also recommend it for anyone wanting to learn more about faith, prayer, and compassion in the midst of crisis. I appreciate the authors’ willingness to write the book, and the families’ openness with their lives.”
Another reader:
“I thought this book was wonderful. It helps people who have never experienced life in the NICU get a glimpse of it. I have quadruplets and all four of my babies went through the NICU at Chidren’s Hospital in Minneapolis. Dr. Ronald Hoekstra took care of my babies and he is as wonderful as the stories in this book make him sound.
“It is very difficult to explain what life is like in the NICU and this book does a marvelous job of conveying that. I have given this book to many friends and family members to help them understand what I went through.”
Another reader:
“Intensive care neonatal units are places few of us will ever see. Healthy children are a blessing most of us take for granted. Yet this book takes us into the lives of several families, with all the drama of repeated life-and-death crises. This book lets us feel the pain, and the joy, the frustration and the wonder. It confronts us with the questions. It does not preach, yet dependence on God breathes from its pages. These infants, so astonishingly small, are precious and wonderfully made.
“This is a book you’ll want on your shelf. You’ll find your eyes overflowing at times. You’ll find yourself sharing pain too deep for words. You’ll also find yourselves lifted with a sense of wonder at the Majesty of God’s handiwork.”
